You know when you hear about someone that doesn’t know what sex they are and you’re like “that’s impossible, everyone must like something” well… it’s my life.

I’m attracted to guys physically but when I think about having a relationship… I am disgusted, I don’t want to. I don’t see myself waking up to a man anymore. I used to, I think.

I’m not really attracted to women and I’m always afraid that if I get married, after a while I’m just not going to be able to get it up (know what I mean?). But, I see myself marrying a woman, spending the rest of my life with one, and having children. 

What I am attracted to, I want nothing with. What I am not attracted to, I want everything with. It’s not that I’m forcing myself not to have anything with guys, it’s just that I simply don’t want to. Like when straight people don’t go out with gay people…. like that. 

Anyways, now I want to write about how I see my future.

After I graduate from FIU, I want to get a graduate’s degree somewhere. Preferably New York, or Boston, or another northeastern city. After that, I see myself getting a job. I don’t see myself settling down until I’m in my 30s. 

When I settle down with a woman, I see myself having a job that is in France, or in a foreign country. I want to have two kids at most. If I’m in France, then my kids will be there and I will speak to them in Spanish while my wife will probably not because she probably will not know Spanish, she’ll most likely speak to them in English. My kids will be multilingual. I want my kids to be cultured and respectful and to be taught to honor honesty and trust.